Charon's Report

Report from Charon, Boatman of the River Styx, Unto The Lord of The Dead, Pluto

Item 1.

Lord of The Dead - so that you may know my countenance, I am visaged herein:

A truly fearsome visage I apparently presented, for at one point I caused an entire group of questers to start back in fear. I, a non-combatant, so terrified their stalwart fighters that they gave ground. This caused much merriment, or at least as much merriment as could be caused to the dead.

Item 2.

A decent amount of coin was collected and returned to Minerva as per your instructions for recirculation.

Item 3.

I counted a total of four (perhaps five?) dead warriors during the day - One warrior did not make it to you as he apparently did not understand his part in this grand scheme. When I motioned behind me and said "knock yerself out" indicating he should continue on to Your dread realm, he thought I meant for him to sit down behind me. Since I was fully caught up in experiencing the completely-authentic, fiercely cold wind coming off the lake (and I thank you for that - it was cold and dark enough that it could ONLY have come from The Land of the Dead), I neglected to look behind me for some time. When his quest team came to resurrect him I made an executive decision (he'd been sitting there for about 30 minutes) and restored his life to him with the understanding that when they came my way again they would be required to pay extra coin.

Item 4.

As I gazed about me I saw many entertaining things, some of which I have previously related to You in your Dread Realm.

Minerva did lay the smack down on many teams.
Falcone and the Filthy Fauns (and if that isn't a name for an indie rock band I don't know what is) did quite well demonstrate their fear of anything involving water.
One team did come nigh-on near to attacking another team for the gold you so graciously gifted them.
Mercury did wear himself out running from point A to point B.
The two most entertaining points of the day were when a group of questers found me and mentioned that they sought the god Bacchus. I explained to them that Bacchus would not be caught dead in Erebus, as it was too dull for him. This did cause merriment.
The other most entertaining point of the day was when another team did approach me, attempting to pass, and when they were rebuffed for lack of sufficient coin, they huddled amongst each other to take counsel. For lack of anything better to do I decided to sneak up on them, the better to hear what they were planning (and possibly lend them advice). This action caused one of their non-combatants to jump back about five feet and screech "look behind you!" At which point the combatants did succumb to Panick.

I therefore offer this as proof that indeed, the Dead can laugh.


Boatman over the Styx